You think negotiating a raise is tough? Try convincing an Afghan elder to identify Taliban fighters in his own community.
Negotiating is not confined to the office and the car dealership. In fact, some of the best deal-brokers have worn fatigues.
Jeff Weiss is familiar with negotiating both on and off the battlefield. As a partner at Boston consulting firm Vantage Partners, Weiss helps corporations and executives handle disputes and hammer out better agreements. He also spends a good chunk of every year doing the same thing for cadets at West Point. Weiss has spent the better part of a decade studying battlefield negotiations and figuring out what works and what doesn't in a hostile foreign country.
The goal is for a soldier to forge alliances in unknown territory where every move is being carefully watched, time is of the essence and a faction is very much interested in the soldier's failure. Hopefully, starting a new job is not as dangerous, but many of the same dynamics are in play in the workplace.
The key to thriving in a new environment, according to Weiss, is controlling the nagging sense that you are making a major mistep. Danger, and the fear that it incites, triggers a cavalcade of reactions that could start someone off on the wrong foot, most notably a tendency to rush, make threats and too easily concede vital points to mitigate tension. In other words, it helps to stay calm, yet confident.
'Many of us walk around with a default setting and a belief that to be a good negotiator you should use threats, anchoring, bluffing, banging the table and a general show of power,' Weiss said. 'Frankly, what I have seen in good negotiators — whether they are a 30-year-old captain in the Army or a 40-year old salesman — are folks that say 'There's a time and a place to do that, and it's not often.''
Here are some of the other pieces of advice that Weiss has gleaned from men and women in uniform:
1. Get the Big Picture
Get a lay of the land at the outset, particularly the opinions and viewpoints of other parties. In other words, don't dive in and try striking deals right away. Be humble and curious.
2. Uncover and Elaborate
Learn the motivations and concerns behind your counterparts' opinions. Propose multiple solutions and invite the other parties to improve on them.
3. Elicit Genuine Buy-in
Avoid threats. Win others to your side with reasoned arguments, not power plays or brute force.
4. Build Trust First
Directly linked to No. 4, this tactic is all about building a foundation of success. Don't try to 'buy' support. Rather, make incremental commitments of good faith.
5. Focus on process
Forget about results, or lack thereof. Put your energy into having a healthy and robust discussion free from knee-jerk reactions.
Do any of you have something else to add to that list? If so, weigh in. Ten-hut!
How often do you find yourself negotiating in the workplace? Do you think you're a strong negotiator? What are your bargaining weaknesses?