《美食祈祷和恋爱》Chapter 4 (7):只能祈祷

Source: 恒星英语学习网    2011-11-29  我要投稿   论坛   Favorite  

Of course, I've had a lot of time to formulate my opinions about divinity since that night on the bathroom floor when I spoke to God directly for the first time. In the middle of that dark November crisis, though, I was not interested in formulating my views on theology. I was interested only in saving my life. I had finally noticed that I seemed to have reached a state of hopeless and life-threatening despair, and it occurred to me that sometimes people in this state will approach God for help. I think I’d read that in a book somewhere.


What I said to God through my gasping sobs was something like this: "Hello, God. How are you? I'm Liz. It's nice to meet you."


That's right—I was speaking to the creator of the universe as though we'd just been introduced at a cocktail party. But we work with what we know in this life, and these are the words I always use at the beginning of a relationship. In fact, it was all I could do to stop myself from saying, "I've always been a big fan of your work . . ."


"I'm sorry to bother you so late at night," I continued. "But I'm in serious trouble. And I'm sorry I haven't ever spoken directly to you before, but I do hope I have always expressed ample gratitude for all the blessings that you've given me in my life."


This thought caused me to sob even harder. God waited me out. I pulled myself together enough to go on: "I am not an expert at praying, as you know. But can you please help me? I am in desperate need of help. I don't know what to do. I need an answer. Please tell me what to do. Please tell me what to do. Please tell me what to do . . ."

这样的想法使我呜咽得更厉害。神耐心地等待我恢复镇定。我振作起来,继续说下去“您知道,我不是祈祷的能手。但能不能请您帮个忙?我非常需要协助 。我束手无策。我需要答案。请告诉我如何是好。请告诉我如何是好。请告诉我如何是好……”

And so the prayer narrowed itself down to that simple entreaty—Please tell me what to do—repeated again and again. I don't know how many times I begged. I only know that I begged like someone who was pleading for her life. And the crying went on forever.

于是祷告语缩减至简单的一句——“请告诉 我如何是好”——一遍又一遍。我不晓得自己求了多少次。我只晓得我像qing ming般哀求,始终哭个不停。

Until—quite abruptly—it stopped.


Quite abruptly, I found that I was not crying anymore. I'd stopped crying, in fact, in mid-sob. My misery had been completely vacuumed out of me. I lifted my forehead off the floor and sat up in surprise, wondering if I would see now some Great Being who had taken my weeping away. But nobody was there. I was just alone. But not really alone, either. I was sur-rounded by something I can only describe as a little pocket of silence—a silence so rare that I didn't want to exhale, for fear of scaring it off. I was seamlessly still. I don't know when I'd ever felt such stillness. 

突然间 ,我发现我不再哭了。事实上,我在呜咽当口上停止哭泣。我内心的痛苦完全被抽空。我从地板上抬起头,惊讶地坐了起来,心想此刻能否看见带走哭泣的伟大神灵。却看不见任何人,只有我独自一人。但也不全然是独自一人。我的四周围绕着某种我只能称作一小块寂静的东西——此种寂静十分罕见,使我屏住呼吸,以免吓跑它。我一动也不动。我从不知道自己何时曾感受过此种寂静。

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