轻松英语口语会话 着手改变钱的故事(mp3+lrc字幕)

Source: 恒星英语学习网  Onion  2009-08-20  我要投稿   论坛   Favorite  
[00:00.00]When money has a tangible value,a lot of emotional things hitchhike on its coattails.
[00:06.08]Money often functions as the "currency of caring."
[00:10.37]More and more professionals_psychotherapists,counselors,social workers and others_have begun to address in their work the hidden ways that money works for,and against,many people.
[00:24.08]In the forefront of this movement is Dr.Krueger.
[00:27.22]The author of "Emotional Business"and "Success and Fear of Success in Women,"
[00:33.80]Dr.Krueger has a keen and heartfelt understanding of the symbolic value of money,
[00:39.10]the money patterns and symptoms that can arise from our early roots,
[00:43.06]and how we can take steps to change our"story"so that we may find our authentic selves.
[00:49.28]Here is what he had to say in a recent talk with Institute Founder and Executive Director Karen McCall.
[00:52.56]以下是最近他和协会创建者及执行董事Karen McCall的一次谈话。
[00:55.84]Karen McCall:In your book"Emotional Business,"you talk about money in terms of what it represents for many people.
[01:03.94]Let's talk about the symbolic value of money_about what money does and doesn't buy.
[01:11.89]David Krueger:Well,first of all you have to understand that money is a tremendous force,
[01:16.43]one that in terms of its tangible value determines where we live ,
[01:20.89]how we live,whether we can put food on the table,and so on.
[01:24.96]But when you look closely,you see that there are all kinds of emotional things that hitchhike on it as well.
[01:32.05]KM:Say a little more about that.
[01:35.15]DK:Money,for many people,is treated unconsciously as a "currency of caring."
[01:41.38]So a lot of things are attributed to money-love,power,fame.
[01:47.46]This is confusing what money is with what it can do.
[01:51.38]And when our conscious intentions are at odds with our unconscious motivations,we'll never feel quite"right"inside.
[01:59.23]The more money symbolizes our unfulfilled needs and desires,the less it satisfies us.
[02:06.36]KM:That raises an interesting idea,because what you've just described is often a foundation for addictions of various kinds.
[02:15.76]Can one become addicted to money?
[02:18.89]DK:Absolutely.When money serves as a proxy,when it serves as a symbol for what one really wants,there will never be enough.
[02:27.46]An addiction is a promise that's never kept_hope given life by proxy.
[02:33.04]It's very common for someone to say"I won't have any problems if I can just make a million dollars,
[02:38.94]or five million dollars,and have a house in a great neighborhood.
[02:43.19]But it's never enough;you can lose enough,you can't make enough.
[02:47.58]When you make money the proxy of what you need,you will never be satisfied.
[02:52.80]KM:What are the components of an addiction?
[02:56.18]DK:Anything that you can be addicted to has three components.
[03:00.25]One is the historical component that often arises out of our family of origin and our earliest experiences of being,or not being,cared for.
[03:09.47]Out of their histories,people come to create their own personal stories,with specific meanings assigned to the object of their addiction.
[03:17.50]The second component is the symbolic equation that we assign to the money or alcohol or other"drug."
[03:23.87]For example,we might equate money with being loved,or with being either powerful or impotent.
[03:30.35]And the third component is that whatever the object of addiction is_whether it's money,food,drugs,sex or whatever,
[03:38.99]the object has an immediate capacity to regulate both physiological and psychological experiences,both tension states and feelings.
[03:48.42]And anything that is used addictively comes to further enhance the symbolism of the proxy,
[03:54.00]crowding out one's personal story and taking on a life of its own.
[03:59.36]KM:You've said that when it comes to addictions,you like to distinguish between"pattern"and"symptom".
[04:06.20]Let's talk more about that.
[04:08.94]DK:A symptom is a particular kind of behavior or enactment_compulsive gambling,compulsive shopping,those kinds of things.
[04:16.54]Patterns have a broader configuration.
[04:19.16]A pattern is not a single,symptomatic act,but a broader set of behaviors,like having someone rescue you from a financial disaster.
[04:28.45]It's using money or the means for obtaining money as a kind of engagement as a way of connecting with people.
[04:35.26]For example,parents or a loved one or spouse would rescue from financial difficulties at the very time when you feel estranged or disconnected emotionally.
[04:46.06]KM:How difficult is it to change these patterns?
[04:50.56]DK:Patterns can have a beginning,middle and end within a matter of minutes or hours,such as compulsive shopping or spending.
[04:57.72]But there are also patterns,such as certain difficulties in intimacy in a relationship,that may take 10 or 20 years to unfold,
[05:05.42]and recovery from these patterns can be tougher than to look at the rapidly recurring patterns,
[05:10.46]because by the time one has gone through it once or twice,they're well beyond middle age.
[05:16.26]But the greater the understanding of the motivations that go into it,
[05:20.04]the greater possibility one has to really recognize that they themselves are creating the patterns as part of their stories,
[05:27.24]and that with understanding,one may be able to create a very different story.
[05:31.99]KM:You've said that the more the story of the symbol_in this case,money_comes to have a central position in one's life,
[05:40.56]the more it has the potential to crowd out other very real and necessary things.
[05:46.64]For some people this takes the form of underearning.
[05:50.93]How would you define under-earning?
[05:53.74]DK:I see under_earning not simply as the inability to acquire money or to work to one's full potential,
[05:59.89]or,in the case of various kinds of independent professionals,the inability to set or collect fees.
[06:06.05]It is those things,but it is also an internal issue.
[06:10.69]In one's own sense of self,ambition is one pole and ideal is another.
[06:17.60]If..if we have formed an internal ideal that is attainable,
[06:21.31]we will most likely be fairly successful at working and earning at an appropriate level.
[06:27.68]KM:What you're really talking about is self_esteem,isn't it?
[06:32.72]DK:Yes,and the only place that I know of that self_esteem comes from is from having an ideal that's attainable,
[06:38.88]and achieving that ideal or those goals.
[06:41.62]Now,what happens when the ideal is coupled with what someone else wants,or with an external goal?
[06:47.27]External affirmation makes one very vulnerable to things that would be one very vulnerable to things that would be emblems of worth_money,possessions,and other socially acceptable stand_ins for self-worth.
[06:58.28]But nothing is ever going to be enough.
[07:00.73]Nothing is going to be good enough unless you have a sense of "good enough"inside,
[07:05.12]which in turn means feeling a kind of affirmation of one's own worth internally.
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