It has been shown that we can only do three to five things at a time if we’re going to do them well. So take out your list of dreams, choose five items, and put them in order of priority. These are the ones you’ll be working on first. Later, when you’ve achieved these five dreams, you can choose another five, then the next five, and so on. The six steps that follow for creating the life you really want are roughly modeled after the principles set forth in Sonia Choquette’s book, Your Heart’s Desire: Instructions for Creating the Life You Really Want
.Focus on What You Want
Sonia begins her book by explaining that clear focus is like a magic wand. The concept of “focus” can be broken down into two different parts: you have to be clear on what you want and, once you know what you want, you have to keep your attention focused on it.
She further suggests that if you’re blocked or confused about what your heart’s desire is, you should start by looking at your immediate life and ask yourself what you need. What are the obvious needs and desires you have right now? Do you need to find a way to organize your home? Do you need to have more fun? Do you need to find a method to juggle your different roles? What frustrates, aggravates, and irritates you at this very moment?
If your dream is to write a novel but you’re always exhausted because your 8 month-old baby won’t sleep through the night and your house is in complete disarray, you first need to achieve the goal of getting the baby to sleep through the night and getting the house in order before you can pursue your dream of writing a novel. That is, there may be steps that you need to take first in order to lay the foundation for your heart’s desire. When your life is in good shape, you can go for the ideal.
If you’re blocked about your heart’s desire Sonia Choquette further suggest that you ask yourself whether you’re substituting someone else’s “rational” goals for your own. In addition, are you dismissing true desires as unimportant or unrealistic? Learn to honor your true desires. In Living Your Best Life: Ten Strategies for Getting From Where You Are to Where You’re Meant to Be
, Laura Berman Fortgang suggests that you pay attention to when your emotions are telling you “I want this”, and your thoughts are saying “I should do this”. She adds the following:“When you pay more attention to how you feel in a situation instead of relying on your linear, logical judgment, you will have quicker access to the answers that will make a difference in attaining what you want.”Once you know what you want, you have to put your attention on it continuously. The Law of Focused Attention from Mark Joyner’s “Simpleology” states that in order to hit a target, you must focus sufficient attention on it until you hit it. Whatever you put your attention on is where you’re directing your creative energy. Most of us spend our lives focusing our attention on things other than our desired targets. Once you’ve identified your heart’s desire, you must give it your full attention. Sometimes you need to lower your expectations in the short run and make your focus very narrow and very simple. Then, once you’ve hit that target, you can move on to the next one.
Your Beliefs have to Support Your Dreams
Your belief system operates subconsciously and automatically, and it will determine what you make of any situation. Depending on whether your beliefs are expanding or limiting, you will find either possibility or a road block. For example, if you hold the belief that you never do anything right, your subconscious mind will lead you through life dramas that allow you to validate and live out that belief over and over again.
If you consciously have a desire but subconsciously you harbor beliefs that are contrary to what you want, it will be very difficult for you to achieve your dreams. For example, if you set the goal of becoming wealthy while holding the belief that you don’t deserve wealth, or that you’re not smart enough to be wealthy, or that creating wealth requires making enormous sacrifices, you simply won’t allow yourself to be rich. Your subconscious must accept and believe in your dreams. There are many methods you can use to replace your old limiting beliefs with new, life-affirming beliefs. Three of these are the following:
- The Sedona Method: The Sedona Method is a simple, yet powerful, easy-to-learn technique that helps you let go of any negative, uncomfortable or painful emotions you may be experiencing at any particular moment, as well as allowing you to release negative beliefs.
- Positive Affirmations: Affirmations are simply statements that we make to ourselves; it’s our self-talk. You use affirmations all the time, whether you’re doing so intentionally or unintentionally. By repeating positive affirmations you can reprogram your thought patterns and replace negative beliefs with positive beliefs. You can get started with positive affirmations by reading Louise Hay’s wonderful book, I Can Do It
.
- Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)
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流蒗 (2008-9-13 13:21:34)
Your imagination is very powerful, and it can be a great aid if you use it correctly. Use your imagination to your advantage by visualizing yourself achieving each of your life’s dreams. Real imagination involves all of your senses and emotions. You have to evoke an internal experience of what you really want. What does it look like? What does it feel, sound, smell, like? Can you taste it?
There are three different visualization tools you can use:
A. Create a collage. If “visit Paris” is on your dream list, go to travel agencies and ask for brochures. You can also purchase travel magazines that include articles on Paris. Cut out the pictures and glue them on a large poster board. Look at your Paris Collage often–at least once when you wake up and once right before going to bed–and imagine that you’re actually there.
B. Create a mindmovie. Collect pictures of Paris from different places on the internet and create a mindmovie. Add music–maybe “La Vie en Rose”–, add affirmations–”I am now packing for my trip to Paris”, “I now have reservations at the Four Seasons Hotel George V Paris”, “I’m so happy to be in Paris” and so on–, and sit down each morning and watch your mindmovie.
C. Use creative visualization. Creative visualization is using your imagination to create a clear mental picture of something you want to create in your life. A very useful tool for applying creative visualization is The Silva Life System. The Silva Life System will teach you how to slow down your brain waves to the alpha level, the brain frequency associated with meditation. It has been shown that the use of affirmations and creative visualization is more effective at the alpha level.
Better yet, use all three methods!
Release Worry, Doubt, and Fear
“Having conceived of his purpose, a man should mentally mark out a straight pathway to its achievement, looking neither to the right nor left. Doubts and fears should be rigorously excluded. They are disintegrating elements which break up the straight line of effort, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, useless.”
– James Allen
Fear is an emotion that reflects back to you an internal thought process that is telling you that there will be a negative outcome, and that you won’t be able to cope with said outcome. If you’re feeling fear, it’s because you’re having fearful thoughts. Therefore, the easiest way to overcome fear is to replace the thoughts that are causing the fear with thoughts that make you feel peaceful and calm. In addition, ask yourself: what is the most constructive thing I can do right now in order to take the next step toward accomplishing my goals?
We are afraid of many things, such as:
●Fear of imperfection: a lot of people have a tendency to put things off until the conditions are just right.
●Fear of making a mistake: many people have such an overwhelming fear of making a mistake that they choose not to do anything at all.
●Fear of success: some people fear that if they succeed the bar will just get higher and higher; they also fear they will lose any success ●that they achieve.
●Fear of rejection: you may refrain from pursuing your goals because of fear of anger, resentment, or jealousy from others.
●Fear of change: we resist change because it means that part of our old self must die.
Make Yourself Magnetic
It is a common saying that you should first “be”, then “do” and then you will “have”. That is, you have to start by being the kind of person who creates an ideal life. You can do this by making yourself magnetic in the following ways:
●Be grateful for what you have instead of focusing on what you lack.
●Take care of yourself: eat well, exercise, take time for yourself, meditate, and make sure you’re well-groomed.
●Demonstrate ease: stop complaining, stop making excuses, don’t overreact to problems, don’t promise more than you can deliver, don’t take on more than you can do, and be solution-oriented.
●Treat yourself with respect, ask plainly for what you need, take responsibility for yourself, and invest in yourself and in your growth. Honor your worth and your time.
●Give yourself permission to be and do what you want. Follow your inner guidance.
●Know what is unacceptable to you and communicate boundaries.
●Stay in your own life: stop comparing yourself to others and don’t stray from your path because you’re trying to copy what someone else is doing.
●Be specific as to what you want.
●Be compassionate and patient with other people. In addition, you should be as happy for the success of others as you are of your own.
●Expect success.
Act in a Way that is Consistent with Your Heart’s Desire
When you’ve identified your heart’s desire you have to commit yourself to do everything in your power to make it happen. Don’t waste your time on things that are not bringing you closer to what you want and don’t make excuses about avoiding the work. You have to take consistent action, that is, every day you have to take some step to take you closer to your dream. Do the following:
●Protect your dream by removing yourself from non-supportive influences, such as toxic friends or environments that keep you stuck.
●Reevaluate your time. Go though your day and make sure that the actions you’re taking are necessary—and not “filler activities”—, and that you take effective action, defined as “action which moves you in the direction of getting what you want”.
●Commit yourself to your dream.
●Begin. In the words of Martin Luther King, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Conclusion
By identifying what you truly want, focusing your attention on it, aligning your beliefs with your dreams, visualizing your dreams as if they have already come true, releasing worry, doubt, and fear, making yourself magnetic, and acting consistently to move in the direction of your dreams, you can achieve anything you set your heart to.
– Marelisa
[ 本帖最后由 流蒗 于 2008-9-13 13:23 编辑 ]
流蒗 (2008-9-13 13:24:55)
在我6月23日发表的博客贴子“决定你想要什么”中，我所告诉你的，创造你理想中的生活第一步是，决定你想要的。在该贴中你将被鼓励去想像在今后30年中，你所能想像出来的最好的生活，并且列出你想成为、想要做、想要拥有的一切——无论是大的，小的，甚至是极不寻常的。我还补充道，一个月后——即现在，我会继续粘贴出下一步你需要采取的最重要部分，使你理想的生活从纸上变成现实。那么，就像我所说的，以下便是。
我们已经知道，如果想把事情做好的话，那同时只能做三到五件事情。所以，拿出你的梦想清单，选择五个项目，然后将它们按优先顺序排好。这是你首先要完成的事情。接着，当你达到这五个目标，再选择另外五个，接着再选择五个，等等。所遵循的创造你想要的生活的六步，大体上同Sonia Choquette的书——《你的心愿：关于创造你想要的生活的介绍》——所阐述的原理一致。
集中在你想要的
Sonia在她书中的开头解释道，有条理的焦点就像神奇的魔杖。“焦点”这一概念能够被分为两个不同的部分：你必须清楚你想要的是什么，其次，一旦你知道想要的东西，你必须把注意力集中在这上面。
她进一步建议，如果你被妨碍，或是迷惑，不知道内心所渴望的，那你必须从审视现在的生活开始，询问自己的需要是什么。你现在所拥有的最明显的需要和愿望是什么？你是否需要寻找一种途径来组织你的家庭？你是否需要更多乐趣？你是否需要寻找一种方法来同时饰演你不同的角色？在这一刻，使你灰心、恼火、急躁的是什么？
如果你的梦想是写一部小说，但你总是精疲力尽，因为你8个月大的孩子总在夜里不肯睡觉，并且你的房子一片狼籍。你所需要达到的第一个目标是，在你追求创作一部小说的梦想之前，使孩子在夜里安静地睡去，并且收拾好房子。就是说，这些可能就是你首先需要按顺序采取的步骤，为你达成心愿打好基础。当你的生活处于良好状况的时候，你才能选择目标。
如果你觉得你的心愿被妨碍到，Sonia Choquette进一步建议你抚心自问，是否用他人“合理的”目标取代了自己本身的目标。另外，你是否把内心真正的愿望看成是不重要或是无法实现的？学会尊重你真实的愿望。在《最好地生活：十种战略，从你身在何处到你想身在何处》这本书中，Laura Berman Fortgang 建议，当你的情感告诉你“我需要这个”和你的思想述说着“我应该干这个”的时候，你应该对此给予关注。她增加了以下步骤：
“当你把注意力集中在你如何感受某种状况而不是依靠直觉、逻辑判断的时候，你会更容易找到答案，而这会使你在获得你想要的东西时变得不同。”
一旦你清楚自己想要什么，你必须持续地将注意力集中在这上面。来自Mark Joyner“简单学”的集中注意力原则阐述道，为了击中靶子，在你击中之前你必须保证有充分的注意力在这上面。凡是你所集中的注意力，都是你调配自身产生的能量。大多数人将一生花费在琐碎事情上而不是自己所渴望的目标。一旦你认同内心的愿望，你必须集中所有精力。有时候你需要降低短期内的期望值，使你的注意力集中到一点上，并且简化它。然后，一旦你击中了目标靶子，你能够往下一步继续前进。
信念必须支持梦想
人的信念系统是无意识、自动地运行的，这决定了你如何理解情境。你觉得其可行还是有障碍，这取决于你的信念是扩展的还是有限制的。例如，如果你持有这么一种信念，“我从来就做不好事情”，那么，无意识思维会使你在这一生中都会不断地重复着这种信念。
如果你能意识到愿望，但是，无意识地，你的习惯性信念与所要的东西相反，这会让梦想达成之路变得非常艰难。例如，你设定的目标是变得富裕，但持有的信念是你不应得到财富，或你不够聪明，无法富裕，或是拥有财富需要做出很大的牺牲，你的确无法让自己富起来。你的意识必须接受和相信梦想。有一些方法可供你使用，以崭新、真实的信念来代替陈旧束缚的信念。如以下三个。
Sedona方法：它是一门简单却强大、容易学习的技术，能够帮助去除你可能在特定时期体验到的任何消极、不舒服或痛苦的情绪，同时能使你放弃消极的信念。
积极肯定法：肯定法是我们对自己所做的简单陈述；是一种自我对话。无论你有意或无意，都可在任何时候使用肯定法。通过重复积极的肯定句，你能够重新组织你的思想模式，用积极信念替代消极信念。使用积极肯定法，你可以从阅读Louise Hay的名作《我能做到》开始。
情感释放技术（EFT）
运用你的想像力
你的想像力是强大的，如果能正确使用它，将对你很有帮助。运用想像力，通过想像自己达到每一个人生目标来想像你的优势。真实的想像牵涉到你所有的感官和情感。你必须唤起一种内在体验，弄清你真正想要的是什么。它看起来是怎么样的？感觉到、听到、闻到和看到的又是什么样？你是否能够品尝到它？
以下为三种不同的可使用的想像工具：
A、制作拼贴画。如果“游览巴黎”在你的梦想清单上，到旅游机构拿一本小册子，或购买刊登了巴黎相关文章的旅游杂志。把图片剪下来，用胶水把它们粘贴到一个大白纸板上。经常看看你的巴黎拼贴画——醒来和睡前至少看一次，然后想像你真的在那里。
B、制作头脑电影。在网上搜集来处不同的巴黎照片，制作大脑电影。加入音乐——如“La Vie en Rose”，加入肯定句——如“我现在在为我的巴黎之旅打包”、“我现在己预定了巴黎四季乔治五世饭店”、“我很高兴来到巴黎”等，然后每天早上坐下来欣赏你的电影。
C、使用可视化创新法。可视化创新法是通过利用你的想像力来制作清晰人、有关你生活中想要创造的东西的心灵画面。一个应用想像力的非常有用的工具是“席尔瓦生命系统”。席尔瓦生命系统将教会你如何去放慢思维节奏进入阿尔法脑波状态，使大脑频率与冥想相一致。研究发现在阿尔法脑波状态下使用肯定法和创新可视化法更有效。
想要更好的话，三种方法都使用！
释放焦虑、怀疑和恐惧
“在设想目标之后，一个人内心需要规划出一条道路直通向成功，而不是顾左或盼右。怀疑和恐惧需严格排除掉。它们是瓦解的成分，会打破努力的最短距离，使其变得弯曲、无效和无益。”
——詹姆斯·艾伦
恐惧是一种情绪，折射出你内心的想法过程，暗示着将会有消极结果，你无法处理如前所述的消极结果。如果你感受到恐惧，这是因为你有忧虑性的想法。因此，超越恐惧最简单的方法就是，使用让你觉得安宁和平静的想法，来代替让你觉得害怕的想法。此外，扪心自问：此刻，为了达到下一步，以达成我的目标，我所能做的最具建设性的事情是什么？
我们害怕很多事情，例如：
害怕不完美：很多人有这种趋势，即拖延事情，等到正好合适的条件出现。
害怕犯错：很多人有这种无法抵抗的害怕犯错的心思，所以他们选择什么也不做。
害怕成功：有些人害怕，一旦他们成功，障碍会越来越多，他们通常也害怕失去他们已达到的成功。
害怕被拒绝：你可能会因为害怕生气、怨恨或其他人妒忌，而停止追求你的目标。
害怕改变：我们抵抗改变，因为这意味着旧的那部分自我将死去。
使自己具有魅力
俗话常说，你首先要“是”，然后要“做”，然后才“有”。就是说，你首先要成为那种创造理想生活的人。可以通过以下途径使你变得有魅力：
感激你已经拥有的，而不仅集中在你缺乏的；
照顾好自己：饮食健康，运动，多花些时间在自己身上，做计划，保持自己的整洁。
展示悠闲：停止抱怨，停止找借口，不要对问题出现过激反应，不要许出你无法达成的许诺，不要承担你不能完成的事，着眼于解决问题。
尊重自己，清楚地知道自己想要的，对自己负责任，投入自身和成长，尊重你的价值和时间。
允许自己成为和去做想要做的。遵循内心的指导。
知道哪些对自己不可接受，哪些是交往的界限。
继续自己的生活：停止拿自己与别人比较，不要偏离自己的道路，因为你在努力尝试复制别人的生活。
关于自己想要的东西要具体一点。
对待别人要有同情心和耐心。此外，对待别人的成功要像对待自己的一样开心。
期待成功。
以和你愿望相一致的方式行事
当你认同内心的愿望，你须向自己承认，以自身力量做任何事情使其发生。不要浪费时间在那些不会使你更靠近目标的事物上，也不找借口逃避工作。你须持续行动，那即是，每天你都需要采取某些措施，使你离自己的梦想更接近。做以下事情：
通过远离不支持因素来保护自己的梦想，例如那些阻碍你的狐朋狗友或不良状况。
重新估计时间。度过一天，保证你所采取的行为是必要的——而不是“填补的行为”，你采取有效率的行动，这行动被定义为“把你推往达成目标方向的行为”。
向自己承认梦想。
开始。就像Martin Luther King说的，“你不需要看到整个楼梯，只需要迈出第一步”。
总结
通过认同你真正想要的，集中注意力在这上面，调整信念与梦想相一致，想像你的梦想，就像他们已经真正实现一样，释放焦虑、怀疑和恐惧，使自己变得有魅力，同时持续往实现梦想的方向前进，这样无论你的心愿是什么，你都能达成。
[ 本帖最后由 流蒗 于 2008-9-13 13:25 编辑 ]
liujing288521 (2008-9-13 14:10:24)
Onion (2008-9-15 21:10:21)